Collective Node 04 // Rogers Ops

SCREW ROGERS

Disconnected by Design // Overcharged by Default

National Uplink
INTERMITTENT
Support Queue
4+ HOUR WAIT
Roaming Fees
EXTORTIONATE
Shareholder Joy
UNLIMITED

The Great Canadian Blackout Protocol

Rogers is the only network that can single-handedly take down the entire country's economy, banking systems, and emergency services while still sending you a bill for the full month. We call it "Total Connectivity"—mostly because when it fails, you are totally disconnected from reality. Whether it's the "Inter-Gateway Protocol" excuse or just general incompetence, Rogers ensures your digital life is always one update away from a 12-hour forced digital detox.

Customer Service Chronicles
Rogers bundled cable TV with my internet without asking. I found out when I tried to cancel and they told me I'd lose my 'TV discount.'
— Bundle Trap Escapee
Rogers built their new headquarters while closing call centres across Canada. The hold times got longer. The building is very nice.
— Architecture vs. Service
The 'Ignite' brand was created to make you feel like your mediocre internet was futuristic. It is DOCSIS 3.1 in a red box.
— Marketing Decoder
I've been waiting 3 months for a technician. The system says 'appointment pending.' The system has been wrong for 3 months.
— Pending Since Spring
I tried to pay for coffee during the 2022 outage and realized Rogers controls my bank, my phone, and my will to live.
— Stranded in Toronto
I asked what the 'Service Guarantee Fee' was for. The rep said it guarantees a service call if I pay $10 extra. I already pay that monthly.
— Fee Within a Fee
Rogers' 'Smart Home Monitoring' app hasn't loaded since the 2022 outage. They still bill me for it monthly.
— Ghost App Subscriber
Every time I call support, they ask me to reboot the modem first. I have rebooted that modem 200 times. It has never once fixed the problem.
— Reboot Fatigue

Red Alert: The Roaming Trap

Rogers' "Roam Like Home" is a masterclass in creative accounting. Why pay local prices when you can pay $15 a day for the privilege of using the data you already pay for? It's the ultimate travel companion: expensive, unnecessary, and guaranteed to leave you with a headache when you return to Canadian soil.